faced with addiction & crisis

as usual, my penchant for the dramatic precedes me.... i think most of you out there know that my titles are generally overly exaggerated or inflated truths. they're just more fun that way!

the 'crisis' at hand:
next week, there will be a void in my regularly scheduled habits. something that i didn't even realize would stop me in my tracks.

my trainer will be away for the week and i'm going to have to work out alone all week. when he told me that he'd be away, i think he could see the trepidation of facing all those machines on my own wash over my sweaty little lithe body; the tension crippling the post-workout euphoria; nerves taut with anxiety. he asked me what i was going to do all week, to which i squeaked "i don't know!" with an expression of horror creeping over my facial features. he ended up telling me that it was ok if my muscles had a break for a week and i could just do cardio if i wanted to. those words broke the spell. i took a deep breath and told him to have a nice vacation, fully knowing that i will still not really know what to do with myself for the two weeks that i won't see him.

it's odd how much of a dependency i've developed with this guy. it's not even so much the guy as it is the workouts. they get me through the week now. if i don't work out hard, i don't feel like myself anymore. i'm addicted. there, i said it. i'm a gym addict. maybe it's the creatine i've been taking? oh yeah, i'm buff these days... at least it's a healthy addiction, right? or is that an oxy moron? can addiction ever be healthy? i do stem from a rather addiction-driven family, so if i had to pick any addictions to keep in my library of issues, i'm happy with the first edition paperback gym addiction and my leather-bound caffeine addiction on my shelf.

as usual, i'm rambling...

i should go...