wanted: homeless white female to have dinner with

as i stated yesterday, my love life has been uneventful as of late, however, there have been a few misguided suitors recently. you see, it seems that the demographic of people who ask me out is one full of unlikely candidates. in the business world, people often say you should dress for the job you want not the job you have. well, i am clearly dressing for the suitors i don't want, nor have. case in point: in the last few months, i have been asked out by at least 3 homeless men. one, seemingly homeless, but perhaps just homely.... another sitting on the sidewalk outside the McDonald's in central square who simply asked me for my phone number, and the third, well let's just say i need to learn how to lie better (and faster).

i was in park street, waiting patiently for the next redline train to arrive when a large, hairy disheveled man approached me, smelling of stale life and long days. first he told me that i was a very beautiful woman. i am not adverse to random compliments, even when i feel slightly unworthy of them, so i smiled and said a polite thank you. that is what gets me in trouble every time. the man, seeing my response as an invitation to continue, did just that. he then proceeded to ask if i was married. i said "no" (mistake #2). he asked if i had a boyfriend. i said "no" (mistake #3). he then asked if i wanted to get dinner sometime. at this point, i knew the only way out was to make something up. i told him i wasn't from here... i was from chicago. he told me we should still have dinner and maybe just meet up in las vegas (i have no idea why he thought vegas would be a convenient half-way point between boston and chicago, but whatever... who am i to call out the geographically challenged). i finally said "no, i don't think so" and quickly boarded the train as soon as the doors opened.

you'd think any bit of attention is a confidence boost, really. it's not true. not at all. quite the contrary.